I’m meant to hear back from UEA about my masters by Friday - next Monday at the latest.

It’s either going to be a ‘no’ or a ‘maybe’.

I am the antsiest motherfucker around, no question.

on one hand, I want them to respond to me NOW NOW NOW

on the other, if they respond to me too early, it’s probably a rejection

or maybe they would love me

or maybe they would tell me that I am a poopdick

ALL OF THE CONFLICTING EMOTIONS

I feel like I should be hopeful but not too hopeful but I should also prepare myself for crippling failure and a crushing death blow to my self-esteem

So now I’m just going to stare at my inbox for another 5 to 6 days.

… so, I was told that I had to scan 84 pages. My mum was lying. That wasn’t including the other documents.

I have to scan 168.

Today.

I would have to scan another 40+ if I wasn’t still waiting on documents from the bank.

…. god help me.

I don’t think I’ve ever had a headache that has made me this dizzy before

I’m not even really properly formulating sentences right now

I took a nap but the headache hasn’t gone away

and it’s almost 4 am again

and everything hurts and I am exhausted

I won’t even go to the film tomorrow - I will hand it in and go back home to sleep. I can’t cope with staying up any longer. My mind is bursting at the seams and I have all of this week to go, too. Another deadline on Friday. Fuck.

Listening to an 8tracks study mix

Why the fuck is there so much 80s synth in these otherwise classical tracks
It -hurts-.