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Video Post Fri, Sep. 26, 2014 212,413 notes

fishingboatproceeds:

ohcurtains:

ofgeography:

so here’s a fun story about this movie. guess who loves this movie? me! i do! i love this movie. i love this movie so much that when i was in the 7th grade and i saw “first wives club 2” on pay per view i was like: HELL YEAH!! FIRST WIVES CLUB TWO!! NO ONE TOLD ME THERE WAS A SEQUEL!!!

here’s the synopsis for first wives club 2:

disgruntled first wives take their ex-husbands’ new lovers under their wing.

sounds great, right? awesome viewing material for a precocious 11-year-old.

so i buy this movie, and like, three minutes into it i’m starting to feel suspicious?? like it’s really low quality and my girls are nowhere in sight?? how come none of the first wives are the same?? how come they’re alone in a bedroom with mood lighting?? why is she taking off her shirt?? why are they both taking off their shirts?? WHY ARE THEY—

here’s what i did not know about first wives club 2:

  • it is a lesbian porno of no relation to the beloved 1996 classic.

so of course i, horrified that i’ve accidentally bought porn on my family’s account (and in that state of panic that kids work themselves into whenever anything regarding sex is mentioned), quickly shut off the TV and go upstairs and watch an episode of veggie tales to like, cleanse my soul and apologize to jesus, and that’s that.

EXCEPT, OF COURSE:

  • you have to pay for pay per view.

so the end of the month comes and i have completely put this incident out of my mind, haha, i accidentally bought porn, how funny, TELL NO ONE. right? and i’m sitting at a nice dinner with my mother, my stepfather, and my very religious aunt deb, and we’re just talking about farm things, whatever, when suddenly my mother puts her fork down and says, “okay, there’s something we need to discuss. as a family.”

  • AS A FAMILY.

and i’m like, running through a list of people i know who could conceivably be dead, and fantasizing about my mother announcing that she’s going to buy me My Own Computer Just Because U Earned It Kiddo, and she pulls out a piece of paper that says DIRECTV across the top. and i’m like: OH NO.

"i received the tv bill today," my mother said, and i was like, shoveling potatoes into my mouth as fast as i could because i knew that when i went to PORN PRISON they weren’t going to feed me this kind of quality starch. "does anybody want to tell me who purchased the pornography?"

as a reminder, a quick table survey:

  • my mother, surprised and disappointed by the porn bill (innocent)
  • my stepfather, a grumbly old cowboy who just wants to sing along to kenny chesney and watch the hunt for red october (innocent)
  • my aunt deb, a super religious catholic whose best friend is a nun named Sister Placid (innocent)
  • me, the 11-year-old with a mouthful of potatoes who definitely purchased the lesbian pornography

silence.

my mother said, “i’m not going to ask again.”

silence.

my aunt looked at my stepdad. my stepdad looked at my aunt. NOBODY LOOKED AT ME, THE 11-YEAR-OLD WITH A MOUTHFUL OF POTATOES WHO DEFINITELY PURCHASED THE LESBIAN PORNOGRAPHY.

my mother shook her head and put the bill down. “this was incredibly inappropriate,” she said. “skip, deb, whoever. buy that shit on your own time. i’m not paying for it. what if molly had seen it?”

  • WHAT IF MOLLY HAD SEEN IT?

"don’t expose my kid to that crap."

  • DON’T
  • EXPOSE
  • MY KID
  • TO THAT CRAP

"if you want to watch porn, fine, but do it in private and don’t expect me to pay for it. i can’t believe one of you did that in the living room."

  • I CAN’T BELIEVE ONE OF YOU DID THAT
  • IN THE LIVING ROOM

but molly, why didn’t you own up to it and explain that it was an accident?

  • are you fucking kidding
  • i did not want to go to porn prison

the fun conclusion to this story is that i never owned up to it, which means that there are 3 people in the world who have not solved the mystery of the lesbian porn. a quick survey:

  • my mother, who lives every day wondering whose porn she paid for
  • my stepfather, who probably wishes he knew less about his wife’s sister’s porn preferences
  • my aunt, who probably wishes she knew less about her sister’s husband’s porn preferences

but molly, why don’t you own up to it now, with the safety of time and distance and the knowledge that porn prison isn’t real?

  • are you fucking kidding
  • this is the best thing i’ve ever done

what an amazing story

Wow.

(Source: bellecs)




Video Post Tue, Sep. 23, 2014 6,978 notes

englishsnow:

 by arigato

(via bilbon)




Photo Post Tue, Sep. 23, 2014 159,478 notes

(Source: yodiscrepo, via badtimingandme)




Video Post Tue, Sep. 23, 2014 2,681 notes

What piqued Miller’s interest was how “understanding” and “helpful” Sherlock was, traits the actor believes were rarely communicated. “In the books, I found him to be a much more understanding guy. I feel that he really likes people a little bit more than I had seen recently — not that he can necessarily communicate that very well. He likes the underdog, and he likes people who are downtrodden, who are having a hard time. He generally wants to help. I found him to be a much more helpful person, so I tried to put a bit of that in, even though he doesn’t quite pull it off.” [x]

… this post genuinely made me reconsider my opinion of Miller’s Sherlock Holmes. I think I was a little too quick to ‘meh’ at him, now that I stop to consider it.

(Source: kazuos, via doubleadrivel)




Photo Post Tue, Sep. 23, 2014 117,315 notes

shylax:

I’m glad there’s finally a term for this type of asshole.

shylax:

I’m glad there’s finally a term for this type of asshole.

(Source: bedabug, via doubleadrivel)




Video Post Sun, Sep. 21, 2014 269,120 notes

(Source: cyborglovesong, via fuckyeah1990s)




Video Post Sat, Sep. 20, 2014 318,294 notes

blloooooo:

omfg i did not fucking expect that

(Source: tastefullyoffensive, via nenime)




Video Post Sat, Sep. 20, 2014 489 notes

vesperstardust:

guess the ref hahah
cheapest excuse ever to draw medic dressed as a vicar
cause I’m a sick fuck

Heavy in John Watson’s clothes—

-short circuits-

(via fortyeahteamfortress2)




Video Post Sat, Sep. 20, 2014 16 notes

spiderjewel:

I am losing my mind




Photo Post Thu, Sep. 18, 2014 5,109 notes

hawfstuff:

I feel like TF2 really established great standard for character design and silhouette even though all the characters are super stylised they still look like real people, every detail feels unique even all their ears are different.
This kind of attention to detail seems pretty underappreciated outside of the fanbase in general.
Plus the amount of personality and expression that comes out of these characters is very self evident in all of the meet the shorts
my two favourites still being Meet the Demoman and Meet the Engineer

Just thought this would be a useful bit of information for young artists when it comes to overall character design, especially when designing a whole cast of unique characters.

hawfstuff:

I feel like TF2 really established great standard for character design and silhouette even though all the characters are super stylised they still look like real people, every detail feels unique even all their ears are different.

This kind of attention to detail seems pretty underappreciated outside of the fanbase in general.

Plus the amount of personality and expression that comes out of these characters is very self evident in all of the meet the shorts

my two favourites still being Meet the Demoman and Meet the Engineer

Just thought this would be a useful bit of information for young artists when it comes to overall character design, especially when designing a whole cast of unique characters.



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